Sit on the Toilet!

A public toilet.

Yes, I said it.

I don't know when or how this odd insistence by people in general to hover over a toilet started. I'm guessing it's inherent in our Lysol-everything, wash-your-hands-for-no-less-than-five-minutes and do-everything-you-can-to-avoid-touching-the-sink north-american culture. Because, of course, the last thing we want in our extremely clean, anti-bacterial sprayed environment is to catch some horrible disease.

Here's a fact: it's been proven that toilet seats in public washrooms have a lot less germs than we think. The floor is much dirtier (better use the hook behind the stall door for your purse, ladies) and even the hand dryer spreads more germs. That's right. The idea that public toilets are riddled with bacteria, leading so many people (women especially) to hover, or to waste paper in an effort to create a butt shield, is a myth, according to an article on ABC news.

I'm a member of the do-not-hover club (I just made that up). Simply because I just can't pee like that. I don't know how other people do it. What I do know is that every time I use a public toilet, I'm obliged to wipe the seat first, because some weird germ-phobic made a disgusting mess on it. It's ironic that, while I can walk into a nice public washroom with pristine sinks, shiny mirrors and fancy blow-dryers, I can't find a toilet seat that hasn't been peed on (or sometimes even pooped on. Revolting.)

Now, I know that if you belong to the "hover camp," I can't convince you to sit on a toilet seat no matter how hard I try.

So why did I bother writing this post? To introduce my proposal for a simply brilliant idea:

Squat toilets.

If we can't as a society use toilets the way they were designed to be used, why don't we have them all torn out of public washrooms and replaced by squat toilets, like they have in Asia?

I mean, think about it. They're much easier to squat over since they're at floor level. Your butt will never have to touch the surface of a toilet seat again (except in your home, if you choose to keep your regular toilet, which you can sit on or hover over as you please). There will still be a bit of a mess, of course (no one has perfect aim), but at least no one will have to sit on it. You may get a few drops on your pants, but I'm sure that's already happening with people who hover.

Gross, you say? Think about it next time you step into a public washroom.