Sit on the Toilet!

A public toilet.

Yes, I said it.

I don't know when or how this odd insistence by people in general to hover over a toilet started. I'm guessing it's inherent in our Lysol-everything, wash-your-hands-for-no-less-than-five-minutes and do-everything-you-can-to-avoid-touching-the-sink north-american culture. Because, of course, the last thing we want in our extremely clean, anti-bacterial sprayed environment is to catch some horrible disease.

Here's a fact: it's been proven that toilet seats in public washrooms have a lot less germs than we think. The floor is much dirtier (better use the hook behind the stall door for your purse, ladies) and even the hand dryer spreads more germs. That's right. The idea that public toilets are riddled with bacteria, leading so many people (women especially) to hover, or to waste paper in an effort to create a butt shield, is a myth, according to an article on ABC news.

I'm a member of the do-not-hover club (I just made that up). Simply because I just can't pee like that. I don't know how other people do it. What I do know is that every time I use a public toilet, I'm obliged to wipe the seat first, because some weird germ-phobic made a disgusting mess on it. It's ironic that, while I can walk into a nice public washroom with pristine sinks, shiny mirrors and fancy blow-dryers, I can't find a toilet seat that hasn't been peed on (or sometimes even pooped on. Revolting.)

Now, I know that if you belong to the "hover camp," I can't convince you to sit on a toilet seat no matter how hard I try.

So why did I bother writing this post? To introduce my proposal for a simply brilliant idea:

Squat toilets.

If we can't as a society use toilets the way they were designed to be used, why don't we have them all torn out of public washrooms and replaced by squat toilets, like they have in Asia?

I mean, think about it. They're much easier to squat over since they're at floor level. Your butt will never have to touch the surface of a toilet seat again (except in your home, if you choose to keep your regular toilet, which you can sit on or hover over as you please). There will still be a bit of a mess, of course (no one has perfect aim), but at least no one will have to sit on it. You may get a few drops on your pants, but I'm sure that's already happening with people who hover.

Gross, you say? Think about it next time you step into a public washroom.

Watch an Approaching Storm

I'm the kind of girl who likes to stand out on my front porch when there's a thunderstorm coming.

(Some people don't like to do that and would think I'm a little nuts, I know. Like my grandmother who used to light candles in every window to ward off lightning. My dad as a kid, however, would run out into the storm, most likely sending her into a panic, poor woman.)

Watching an approaching storm is like watching a movie - like one of those blockbusters featuring tornadoes bent on crushing the main characters under a barn - only it's better, because it's real.

The other night I was reading on my sofa when I noticed the sky rapidly getting darker. I put my book down, opened the front door and stood on the top step. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling a cold new wind on my warm skin. As the storm approached I watched the black, low-lying clouds move swiftly overhead and marvelled at the utter blackness coming towards me.

Suddenly the whole sky lit up, and a bolt of lightning descended over the hills. The wind blew harder and became chillier. The trees swayed and the leaves rustled as they performed a mad dance. Lightning struck again, throwing a white light over the rooftops. After that the rain came, cold heavy drops falling at a slant onto the porch where I stood. Reluctantly, I went back inside.

A thunderstorm is one of those things that illustrates just how powerful nature is, like volcanoes erupting, ocean waves crashing on a rocky cliff, or blizzards raging across prairie lands.

For me, that beats super-high resolution images any day.

Are you the kind of person who likes to stand outside and watch an approaching storm? Please leave a comment.

"The Model Isn't Real": Repeat 3 Times

Of course we've all been there: glancing at a magazine cover featuring a model with a perfect body, then sighing inwardly, wishing we could look like that. I'm sure even men experience this (I mean, have you seen men's fitness magazine covers? Are those six-packs made of concrete?)

It seems like whatever we do, wherever we look, we are bombarded with images of perfect human bodies that make ours feel inadequate.

For years, I've bemoaned a cruel fate that would have me look like a one-ton truck compared to these models who showed off their perfect, extremely toned arms, flat bellies and long, lean legs almost everywhere I turned.

Until finally, I realized that these perfect human beings seemed to exist only on paper, billboards and TV.

Now, at the age of 35, I'm (at last!) happy with the way I look, because I know that to look like one of those models is impossible. Because they're not real.

Oh, sure, there are real people behind those pictures, but they don't look like that on their own.

Here's a video you may have seen on YouTube:

Ok, so here's the deal. Next time you're waiting in line to pay for groceries, and you happen to have a glance at the latest Cosmopolitan, instead of excusing yourself and making a dash for the Ben&Jerry's in the frozen food section, repeat three time: "The model isn't real."

I'm healthy (which is what really counts, isn't it?) I exercise and I eat well. I won't ever look like Gwyneth Paltrow. Because I can't afford personal trainers, I don't have time to work out ten hours a day, and I'd quickly get sick of eating nothing but salad. And also because I'm just not born that way.

Besides, there are few things better in life than being married to a guy who tells me I'm beautiful just as I am.

Take that, cover girls.

What goes through your mind when you look at a magazine cover? Please leave a comment.